


Gallons Per Minute

by the_deep_magic



Series: A Very Critical Role Kinktober 2020 [23]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, F/F, Kinktober 2020, Masturbation in Shower, Shower Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:34:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27224326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_deep_magic/pseuds/the_deep_magic
Summary: Day Twenty-Three: shower sex“What, still?” Keyleth asks, and Vex can’t tell if she’s frowning at Pike’s wasting of water or whatever atrocity is growing in the Tupperware she’s holding. “I thought I heard her go in there about half an hour ago.”Vex snorts just as the microwave timer goes off. “She had a big presentation today, and we just got that lovely new removable massaging showerhead. She’s probably just enjoying some… personal time, you know.”
Relationships: Keyleth/Vex'ahlia (Critical Role)
Series: A Very Critical Role Kinktober 2020 [23]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1950748
Comments: 8
Kudos: 199





	Gallons Per Minute

**Author's Note:**

> For the record, I am 100% pro-pineapple on pizza, but I realize feelings run strongly in both directions.

When Keyleth emerges from her room for dinner, Vex is already in the kitchen, staring at the microwave as though that would make it heat her Top Ramen any faster. Keyleth is scratching her head, with that dazed look on her face she gets when she’s been studying p-chem for too long. “Where’s Pike?” she asks, opening the fridge and digging through the containers to find something edible.

Vex could save her the trouble and let her know there’s absolutely nothing appealing in there – Vex should know, she already checked – but she’ll let Keyleth figure it out on her own. “In the shower, as far as I know.”

“What, still?” Keyleth asks, and Vex can’t tell if she’s frowning at Pike’s wasting of water or whatever atrocity is growing in the Tupperware she’s holding. “I thought I heard her go in there about half an hour ago.”

Vex snorts just as the microwave timer goes off. “She had a big presentation today, and we just got that _lovely_ new removable massaging showerhead. She’s probably just enjoying some… personal time, you know.”

Whatever noise Keyleth makes in response, Vex barely hears, so intent is she on adding the flavor packet to her noodles. She skipped lunch for a meeting with her advisor, and she’s been regretting it all day.

When Pike joins them in the kitchen, surrounded by a cloud of steam and practically glowing, she looks more relaxed than Vex has seen her in weeks. “Ladies,” she sighs, “I am finished with Sociology of Religion for the semester.” Vex and Keyleth both applaud her with golf claps, and she takes a bow. “Now then, what’s for dinner?”

“A new species of slime mold,” Keyleth says with a grimace, holding out the Tupperware. “And literally nothing else.”

“No, none of that, not today!” Pike cries. “It’s pizza or nothing!”

“Love to, darling,” Vex says between mouthfuls of noodles. “But until payday, it’s ramen or nothing.”

“Not a chance,” Pike says, beaming. “I’m buying. Sorry, should’ve gotten to you before you nuked the noodles.”

Vex looks at them and shrugs. “I’ll almost certainly be hungry again before the pizza gets here.”

She’s right. By the time Pike has called, the pizza is made, and the delivery driver finds the entrance to their apartment, the ramen feels like a distant appetizer, and the smell of ham and pineapple is making her mouth water. Damn it, she used to have _standards_ for pizza – this is what college has done to her.

But the pizza is hot and plentiful, and that’s all that matters. They still don’t have a dining table that can seat all three of them, so they spread out towels on the living room floor and have at it. It’s something Vex loves about her friends – Pike is on track to graduate summa cum laude in Religious Studies and Keyleth is basically royalty, yet they can all sit here on their cruddy apartment floor and share a mediocre pizza.

Vex is tucking into her second slice when she hears Keyleth say, “So, Pike, did you enjoy the new showerhead?”

That’s when Vex finds out it’s possible to cough mozzarella out one’s nose.

Pike, though, is barely flustered. “Uh, was I that obvious?”

“Well, you were in there a long time,” Keyleth says, completely oblivious to Vex’s reaction. “I was getting worried, but Vex said you’d had a rough day and wanted to take advantage of the new showerhead. Did it give you a nice massage? I can always help with that if you need it – I’m pretty good with my hands.”

There’s a certain look that Pike and Vex exchange on a regular basis, one that says _Do you want to tell her, or should I?_ Though Keyleth now has two and a half years of college under her belt, she’s still sheltered in some ways that come out at odd times. Like now.

Vex is still dealing with the aftereffects of cheese in her sinuses, so she gives Pike the look that says _You take this one_.

“Ah, thanks, Keyleth,” Pike says slowly. “Yes, I had a very nice shower. With the very nice showerhead.”

“Good. I’m so glad we finally got one of the handheld ones. I thought it was pretty unfair to gnomes to only have the one up so high. Now you can put it wherever you want.”

At that point, Vex just goes ahead and puts the slice down for now. They try very hard not to laugh at Keyleth’s naiveté, but they’re not always successful.

“Yep,” Pike says, and Vex can tell she’s biting down hard on the inside of her cheek. “Yep.”

“Do you have, like, a favorite setting? Because there are so many—”

“For gods’ sake, Keyleth, she was masturbating with it!” Vex yelps, unable to stop herself.

There’s a long pause where Keyleth just blinks at her. “Oh.” Another pause. “You can do that?”

That’s the moment when Pike and Vex lose the battle and burst out laughing. Honestly, Vex isn’t being mean, but Keyleth just has this _look_ on her face like she’s trying to figure out how that would even work, and it’s _adorable_.

Pike recovers faster than Vex and reaches over to grab Keyleth’s hand. “Oh, I’m sorry, Keyleth, I didn’t mean to laugh. At first, I just thought you were being very forward.”

Keyleth huffs, but she seems to accept Pike’s apology – it’s hard to stay mad at Pike for long. “I mean, where do you guys even learn about this stuff?”

Vex says “the internet” at the same time Pike says “cable TV.”

“Anyway,” Pike continues quickly. “I really didn’t mean to take so long in there. I’ll be more considerate of you all – and the water bill – next time.”

“Eh, it’s fine with me, darling,” Vex says, picking up her pizza slice again.

“Me, too,” Keyleth says defiantly.

&&&

Pike only makes it through half of _Galaxy Quest_ before her eyes start slipping closed. Vex knows she’d stayed up late working on her presentation, so she and Keyleth shepherd Pike off to bed as soon as the movie’s over. Then Keyleth has to go back to studying, and Vex should really start that East Asian History research paper that’s due next week.

Vex ends up falling down an internet rabbit hole that starts with legitimate research and ends up on the Wikipedia page for a Welsh Christmas tradition that involves a horse’s skull on a stick, at which point she thinks she should probably just pack it in for the night. She’s been thinking about taking her own turn in the shower before heading to bed, but when she passes the bathroom, she hears the water already running, and she gets an idea.

It’s not like the three of them fool around with each other _that_ often, but it’s been known to happen. Vex isn’t quite sure she’s ready to acknowledge her crush on Keyleth, but nor is she one to pass up an opportunity, and the showerhead thing… well, that was practically an invitation, now wasn’t it?

Still, she knocks on the door, and waits until she hears Keyleth’s frustrated, “ _What_?” before cracking it open.

“Everything okay in there?”

Keyleth’s sigh is audible over the water. “Did you just come in here to laugh at me again?”

“No, darling, of course not,” Vex says, slipping in and closing the door behind her to avoid letting the steam out. “I just thought you might be, ah, trying it out for yourself.”

The shower curtain swishes back a few inches and Keyleth’s face pops out. She looks miserable. “I did, but I put it back. I can’t even figure out how it’s supposed to work.”

Vex would kiss herself if she could – she was absolutely right about it being an invitation. “I wanted to hop in the shower anyway. Shall I show you?”

Keyleth worries at her lower lip. Vex still isn’t quite sure how Keyleth interprets their little liaisons together, whether she thinks of them as just fun between friends or something more. It’s not that Vex is afraid to ask, really, just that there are certain answers she’d rather not hear.

But after a moment, Keyleth’s face disappears and the curtain yanks back another foot. Vex grins and strips off quickly.

Keyleth’s lathering up her hair when Vex slips in behind her. The removable showerhead is back in its usual position on the wall, so they do the awkward shuffle past each other so that Vex can get closer to the water, and Vex groans softly as it pours down her body. She’d been sitting and staring at the screen in an awkward position, but the hot spray – which Keyleth has on the highest setting – feels wonderful on her neck and shoulders. “Honestly, Keyleth, I think I could stay in here half an hour doing just this.”

“Not while I have shampoo in my hair.”

Vex chuckles and turns around to reach for the showerhead. “Here, let me do it.”

She turns the massage setting down to something less punishing and carefully rinses Keyleth’s scalp, tilting her head back gently so that no soap gets in her eyes. Vex runs her fingers through her friend’s long, red hair, making sure all the suds are gone. When she’s done, she gathers the wet hair into a loose twist and drapes it over Keyleth’s shoulder, and then uses the showerhead directly on Keyleth’s shoulders.

“So many lovely freckles,” Vex sighs, watching the water run down between Keyleth’s shoulder blades, down the small of her back and over the swell of her ass.

“Ugh,” Keyleth groans. “I hate them. Used to get made fun of all the time.”

“Well, that’s bullshit,” Vex says, stepping forward and kissing at a particularly prominent freckle on Keyleth’s shoulder. Keyleth tenses, and Vex freezes. “This alright, dear? We certainly don’t have to do anything, but I do feel bad for laughing earlier. I could make it up to you.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Keyleth says, still sounding dejected.

“Keyleth,” Vex says, wrapping her free hand around Keyleth’s waist and tugging them together, her front to Keyleth’s back. “That’s not the only reason. It just gave me an excuse to come in here and hold you.”

Keyleth sighs. “I never know if I’m so dumb about these things because I haven’t had a mom in so long, or because I was never allowed outside the tribe.”

“You’re not dumb, sweetheart, you’re just a bit inexperienced,” Vex says, stroking a hand over Keyleth’s stomach. “And we were just laughing earlier because it sounded like you were asking Pike some questions that are quite a lot more personal than you usually like to talk about. That’s all. Now would you like to have some fun with this _very_ useful showerhead or not?”

“Yes, please.”

Vex chuckles into Keyleth’s shoulder, biting gently at the warm, wet skin. “That’s a girl. Now, first thing to remember: start it on the lowest setting. The first time I tried this, I started on full blast and screamed so loud my brother started knocking on the door to see if I was alright. _Very_ embarrassing.”

Some of the tension in Keyleth’s body starts to drain away at that, and she laughs. “Don’t you want to be screaming?”

“Not right away, and _not_ like that,” Vex says with a smile, bringing the shower handle around Keyleth’s side so she can direct the stream against her breasts. “It’s like most anything else. Just start slow, let yourself get turned on.” She dots kisses up Keyleth’s neck as she flicks the spray over Keyleth’s nipples. “Doesn’t that feel nice?”

“Yes,” Keyleth sighs, and Vex feels a sweet little zing of pleasure travel down her own spine.

“Okay,” Vex says after a moment. “I think we’re going to have to spin around for this next bit, because you’ll need to put one foot up on the side of the tub, preferably in the corner.”

“Oh. That, uh. That would make things easier, huh?”

“Now you’re getting it!” Vex says, and they shuffle past each other again so that Keyleth can prop a foot up to the left of the faucet. Vex scoots up behind her, and this time she slides her left hand around to play with Keyleth’s nipples. With her right, she holds the wand of the showerhead so it’s spraying against Keyleth’s inner thigh.

“I think I was trying to make this more complicated than it is,” Keyleth says.

Vex chuckles. “I know the feeling. There’s no specific technique to it, darling, you just point the spray where it feels the best.” Then she slowly rotates her wrist, directing the water up between Keyleth’s legs. It’s a bit of a guessing game, because Vex can’t really see what she’s doing, but she does feel when Keyleth shivers a little against her. “Was that it?”

“Maybe?” Keyleth says uncertainly, wiggling her hips a little.

“Hmm, I’ve never done this to someone else before. Why don’t you spread yourself open with your hand? Might make everything a little more sensitive.”

She does, and on the next pass of the spray, Keyleth definitely twitches. “Oh, there! Go back!” she yelps.

Vex tries to remember the previous position of her wrist. “Where, here?”

“Little to the left, little more—ooh, right there. _Oooooh_.”

As Keyleth hums with pleasure, Vex molds up behind her, letting her breasts press into Keyleth’s back. “There, isn’t that wonderful, darling? Just the loveliest teasing pressure, right where you need it most.”

The showerhead is still on the lowest massage setting, gentle bursts of water, and soon Keyleth is rocking her hips into it like she needs more. “Can we turn it up now?”

“Of course, dear,” Vex says, shaking out her stiff wrist as she does it. “But now I’m going to hand the showerhead off to you.”

“Wait, don’t leave!” Keyleth cries, grabbing Vex’s wrist, and Vex practically melts.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” she sighs, kissing Keyleth’s shoulder again. “But I can’t feel where to direct the water. You just put it where you need it, and I’ll take care of everything else.”

If all goes well, “everything else” is going to include making sure Keyleth stays standing, so Vex puts one arm firmly around her waist. It leaves her other hand free to roam Keyleth’s body, tugging at her nipples and brushing across her belly and stroking her thighs. Keyleth lets out little moans and sighs, shifting her hips from time to time to get the angle of the spray right, and it’s like music to Vex’s ears.

“Can I turn it up again?” Keyleth asks after a few minutes.

“Don’t ask for permission, love,” Vex says, pinching Keyleth’s nipple until she squeaks. “Just do it.”

She does, and her moans start to increase in volume as the spray hits her in sharper bursts. “That feels marvelous, doesn’t it?” Vex purrs right in her ear.

“Not enough,” Keyleth mumbles, and goes to turn the pressure up again.

Vex is sure she must be getting close, but Keyleth just seems to be getting frustrated once more. She shifts her hips again and again against the flow of the water, letting out unsatisfied little grunts from time to time, and they make Vex ache with sympathy. Keyleth goes to fiddle with the dial again, and Vex stops her. “Tell you what,” she purrs. “The water alone isn’t always enough. Why don’t I give it a little help?”

“Yes, please, _anything_ ,” Keyleth whines, and Vex grins.

One arm still tight around Keyleth’s waist, Vex snakes the other down between her legs where Keyleth is still holding herself open. The pulsing spray almost stings the back of Vex’s fingers, and she can understand why Keyleth’s getting frustrated. Keyleth’s slick under her fingertips from more than just the water, and she groans as Vex’s fingers stroke across her opening.

“There, there,” Vex coos, “I’ve got you, sweet girl. You’re just so ready for it, aren’t you? So wet and swollen and aching.” She presses a fingertip very lightly inside, and Keyleth groans and flutters around it.

“Don’t tease,” Keyleth moans.

“But you make it so much fun,” Vex sighs, though she agrees with Keyleth – now’s not the time for more teasing.

“ _Vex_.”

“Yes, darling, of course.” She latches her mouth onto Keyleth’s neck and starts to suck – not enough to bruise, but enough that Keyleth starts to whimper. Only then does Vex find Keyleth’s clit, stroking it lightly until Keyleth’s hips start to shudder. The hard spray might have gotten her overstimulated, so Vex increases the pressure of her fingers slowly.

She feels Keyleth’s body find the rhythm when she gets it right, a soft chant of “yeah… yeah… _yeah_ …” falling from Keyleth’s lips, until: “Vex, _Vex_ , I’m gonna—”

Keyleth seizes up in Vex’s arms and Vex works her fingers faster. Keyleth comes without a sound, shivering in Vex’s arms, and all Vex can see is Keyleth’s knuckles going white as she convulsively grips the showerhead.

It’s only when Keyleth starts to come down that she starts making sounds again, sweet little huffs of breath that go right to Vex’s core. “Ohhhh,” she whimpers, twitching with the last few strokes of Vex’s fingertips. “Oh, that was good.”

“Beautiful girl,” Vex sighs, getting Keyleth back on both feet so she can crowd the other woman up against the wet tile and kiss her. Keyleth’s lips are slack with bliss, and she opens easily for Vex’s tongue.

The kiss is just getting interesting when the hot water – drained first by Pike and now running low – finally gives out very suddenly. Keyleth still has the showerhead in her hand and is pointing it at Vex’s feet, who lets out a rather undignified shriek when the stream goes cold without warning.

“Shit, shit,” Keyleth mutters as she goes to turn the water off. “Well, at least I rinsed my hair.”

Vex pulls away and takes a moment to laugh at herself. She hadn’t managed to do any actual washing while in the shower, but it’s truly hard to care. Her only regret is that she’ll have to wait until tomorrow to try the showerhead for herself. “Keyleth, darling,” she drawls. “This has been fun, but if I can’t get myself off in here, I’m going to go ride a vibrator until I pass out.”

Keyleth blinks at her, and Vex wonders if – despite everything – she’s managed to ruin the moment by oversharing. But then Keyleth says, “Can I watch?”

Vex grins. “You can hold it.”

**Author's Note:**

> I have been down that rabbit hole, and it's called Mari Lwyd.
> 
> ::The More You Know::


End file.
